Lost Realms and Lost Dreams

Wicked state of mind

2010-09-16T21:29:00.003+01:00

In this wicked state of mind
My heart beats faster
My senses grow warmer
I just let myself go

Let me fly through your skin
Feeling your cold touch
Enjoying this simple pleasure
Of your soul turning stone

one of those days kids!!!!
Lyric/poem: ©Ana Cruz 2010 - All rights reserved

Mindblowing Digital Art & Photomanipulation

2010-05-24T13:13:00.003+01:00

I was just told by my friend johnwaters that my work is part of this list. I'm very happy and honoured. :)

"40 Mindblowing Examples Of Digital Art & Photomanipulation"

Have a nice week!

My second exhibition

2010-05-11T17:17:00.003+01:00

I was invited to exhibit my work in Lisbon this Summer.

I still don't have a date but, those details will be arranged by the Organization later; also it will be a great excuse to visit Lisbon, I haven't been there for ages.

I started to frame my works and I want to share with you a photo of my first framed artwork (30 x 40 cm). Does it look good? I think it does!! :)

My father in law knows the owner of a frame factory so, this is getting at least 60% cheaper, rather if I had my artworks framed on a store (lucky me).

I'll share some more photos as soon as I have more 4 or 5 frames artworks.
I'll also share more details about the exhibition as soon as I have more info. At least for the portuguese folks, I'd like you to be there. :)

My latest comissioned book arrived

2010-05-11T17:09:00.005+01:00

Some month ago I did the book layout for Vladimir Voronsky.

He sent me the image for the cover (I'm sorry I don't remember the name of the artist of that image) and I did the entire layout for front & back cover.

Some days ago I got my copy and I even got a dedication from Vladimir. :)
Unfortunately I can't read the book because I can't read cyrillic eheh. I copied the text and placed it in the back cover.

I never like to "show & tell" about my comissions but, it was the first time I did something in a language that I can't even read. It was much fun and kinda different.

Feature in Suspense Magazine

2010-05-11T16:43:00.002+01:00

Suspense Magazine is a magazine specially for book adicts, writers and publishers.

I was invited to be interviews and featured in a 5 page article, showing some of my art and how it relates to the themes that Suspense Magazine features.

My art was also the cover for May issue. :)

Suspense Magazine online: http://suspensemagazine.com/

Collaboration for a sculpture

2010-04-12T18:16:00.004+01:00

Hey guys, how are you?

I've been doing well. The graphic design course have been taking so much of my time but it's all being so rewarding.
This weekend I've been away for a country walk, picknicks and beach; finally the weather is starting to cooperate. I'll show you some photos very soon.

Now, this Blog entry is to share something that has made me feel very proud.

The sculptors Esther Verschoor and Kamilla Meesters asked me to do a sculpture of one of my digital images. Of course I said yes and I'm super excited about it.

So, the collaboration has been divided into 3 different steps:
•Ana Cruz (Digital art work)
•Kamilla Meesters (Sculpting head and upper torso
•Esther Verschoor (body, paint, wig, mask, clothing and tomb).

My image:

Work in progress:

The sculptors websites:
• Kamilla Meesters
• Esther Verschoor

♥

I got a Daily Deviation

2010-03-23T17:23:00.003Z

Hey guys, how are you?

I'm just writting this new post to share with you my latest new.
I got a Daily Deviation today on deviatnArt. It made me feel very happy. It's my second DD.
I found a little strange the fact that I had so many favs today; I thought to myself "wow, I've been so inactive the last couple of weeks... why do I have so many favs??". Then I saw the DD.

Thank you all for the support.
♥

News

2010-03-17T17:41:00.005Z

I spend so many time without adding anything new and, some other times I add 2 entries in the same day... how fascinating (lol).

I have some news to share with you guys.

One of the things that I was keeping a "secret" has finally happened.

I joined the best design/web/3D... etc, school in my city (and I think the best from the country). What am I doing there? I'm getting a full Graphic Design course.

This is what I really want to do with my life and career. Funny right? A thing that started as a simple hobbie is turning into my professional life. I'm getting more and more comissioned work including in the graphic design area and people like my work. This makes me feel very happy and fullfiled.

I guess it's time to say enough to horrible jobs where I'm everything but happy, where career possibilities are always less than good. I'm going to fight with all my strenghts, all my love and passion for this.

The course will take 1 and a half year to complete and in the end I'll have an internship in one of the School's associated companies (or even with one of my teacher's company). From that, I'll have the possibility of staying at that same company. Pretty cool right?

For now it's kinda boring because I'm having all the necessary theory (theory of color, theory of design, typography, printing, etc, etc, etc)... but then, after knowing all the theory, we'll start learning tonds of software programs, dealing with graphic houses and real clients. It's going to be so fun.

I'm very happy because of this and, I wanted to share it with you.

Never stop dreaming. If you really wish for something, it will happen. Just have faith and positive thoughts. ♥

Wonderful gifts

2010-03-17T17:31:00.002Z

Hey guys, how are you?

I want to share with you 2 beautiful presents that my friend Tugba (aka Intano on deviantArt) sent to me. This was a surprise and, when I saw the package arriving I had no clue what it was... and then I was speechless.
She sent me a huge print of her work "Bliss" (featuring me as a model) and the most beautiful gothic style ring. She's the most sweet person in the world.
How is it possible not to love her? She's a kinda, friendly and warm person.
She's great and I am thankfull to have her as a friend; despite we live in different countries and far away from each other.
I cannot show a photo of the original print because I sent it to stretch. Here's a link to Tugba's original work.

Those days

2010-03-02T21:04:00.003Z

Personal entry... loose thoughts...

Don't you just hate those days when you feel extra sensitive? Those days when everything bothers you, everything seems to be happening at the wrong time, with the wrong people... in the wrong situation?

Long introspections made me feel more depressed; going outside in the rain helped even less. I no longer can have the pleasure of sitting alone in a coffee shop and smoke a cigarette.. it's forbidden to smoke in public closed spaces since 2008.

I used to love watching to the people walking by down the street, watching to smoke from my cigarette going up and form strange shapes in the air. Those afternoons in Caffe di Roma were that special; they were the best antidote against days like this.

Don't you just hate those days.... when faking a smile isn't enough, there's no strenght for that.

Don't you just hate those days.... when you realize that you're only human and it sucks!

Damn.... I'm only human!

Les Vampires

2010-02-24T02:06:00.003Z

Hello my dearest ones!

First of all I want to thank you all for the support you've been giving on my art. I'm sorry for not always reply to everyone but I don't have the time. Despite that, I want you to know that I read every single comment and I cherich all your words.

Now, I want to share in advanced a just a little bit of my new manipulation for the Vampire series. As usual I'm adding glamour.. I love glamour and elegance.

I hope you like this "little drop of blood" I shared; as soon as possible I'll submit it on deviantArt; meanwhile I still have much to do in this image.

It's time to sleep now.

As usual my insomnias are bothering me but, today as a very intense and exhausting day and.. it's almost 2:30 am.

Nighty night.

♥

A tag among the silence

2010-02-22T18:58:00.002Z

A tag by my lovely Alice, aka MrsCullen.
Doing it this among the silence and lazy & empty thoughts.... I need a coffee.

•How often do you wear makeup?
Mostly during the weekend. I'm kinda lay do wear makeup during the week.

Is there anything currently hurting on your body?
Actually, since I woke up this morning, everytime I breathe deeply, I feel a pain in my chest.

How old were you when you stopped sleeping with a night-light?
I never slept with a night-light.

Whose car did you ride in last?
My car.

Last person you shared food with?
Carlos.

Was the last person you gave the finger to someone you knew?
I don't remember. I don't use gestual offenses very often.

Do you believe once a cheater, always a cheater?
It depend... maybe, I don't know.

Have you been a happy, angry, or sad person lately?
I experience at least 50 different moods every day.

Do you think you have made someone happy recently?
Yes.

Would you ever get a tattoo?
No.

What's something you can't wait for?
I can't wait for tomorrow :]

Is tomorrow going to be a good day?
Oh yes!!

What's the weather like outside?
Rain + clouds + wind + thunders - big storm.

Can you do a push-up?
Yes.

When was the last time you received a hug?
Maybe 30 minutes ago.

What were you wearing when you last kissed someone?
The same thing I'm wearing now.

Do you know any mechanical stuff about cars?
Yes.

Do you still talk to the first person you kissed?
Yes. He lives in my parents building with his wife. Everytime I go visit my parents, if I see him in the hallway I say "hi, how are you?"... and that's it!

Would you ever want to swim with the sharks?
Sure. Sounds like fun.

Did you speak with your father today?
No.

Who do you call when you're having a bad day?
Catarina. She's like my personal "confessions priest".

Has anyone told you they would never leave and left?
Yes.. but I'm glad they did, or else I'd never met Carlos. :)

Do you think you can love someone without trusting them?
For me, that's impossible; even regarding friendship.

Have you ever thought you were gonna die?
No. I'm immortal.

Has someone put their arm around you in the past 5 days?
Yes.

Are you shy?
Yes.

How is your heart now?
Inside my ribbs, between my lungs... it's looking good.

When was the last time you were truly, completely happy with your life?
Many times a day. In my opinion, little moments make those trully pure moments of happyness.

Could things possibly get any better?
Yes of course. I could win EuroMillions.

Who sits next to you in your second period class?
Noone. I finished University almost 10 years ago.

Last thing you purchased?
A pack of cigarettes.

Plans for tonight?
Order a pizza and eat it with Carlos, while watching bad TV. Then, working on 2 new commissions. Then, go to sleep. (really fascinating isn't it?)

Would you rather have room mates or live alone?
I live with Carlos and 2 cats... sometimes when this is a mess, I wish I could live alone lol.

What's been different this year?
So many things already. I'm already feeling blessed. :)

Do you miss anything or anyone?
No.

Do you think your future will be a good one?
Yes! I have hope on it.

Do you think two people can last forever?
Yes of course.

Where were you at 2am?
Last night I was working.. went to bed at 3 am.

Do you hate the last girl you were talking to?
No. Cláudia is a sweet.

Have you held hands with anyone today?
Yes.

Did you wake up in the middle of the night last night?
No.

Think a lot before you fall asleep?
Yes.... it bothers me but I can't avoid it.

Has there been anyone particular on your mind at all today?
No.

Do you see yourself having a big wedding or a small wedding?
Nothing. I don't think a piece of paper needs to justify my love for Carlos and vice-versa. We don't want to get married... ever!

Are you wearing jeans, shorts, sweatpants, or pajama pants?
Black leggings.

Did you take a shower today?
Yes. I take a shower every day.

What are you listening to?
New Eluveitie's album :]

What was the last thing you ate?
A carrot.

Do you believe that if you want something bad enough, you'll get it?
Actually I do believe that.

Will you be up before 7am tomorrow?
No.~

Is there a person of the opposite gender on your mind?
Carlos already rented the space for life so, he won't be leaving so soon.

Did any particular thing brighten up your day?
A couple of things. :]

Does anyone know your password besides you? Who?
Noone. Sometimes not even I know my passwords. I have at least 15 different, according to the accounts & sites.

Who woke you up this morning?
Carlos.

Where are you?
In my home office.

What were you doing at 8am this morning?
Sleeping.

What are you excited for?
Tomorrow.

Do you have curly hair?
No. I have a mix of straight & wavy hair.

Do you want to have kids?
I'm actually working on it already.

Can you see a cat from where you're sitting?
I can see 2: one sleeping at my feet and the other one looking through the office's window.

Were you ever obsessed with Vitamin Water?
Yes.... but natural mineral water is way much better.

Do you ever crack your knuckles/back/ ankles/ wrists/ etc?
Yep.. I usually crack my shoulders.

♥

Addictions series: planning list

2010-02-10T22:03:00.004Z

Hello my friends, how are you?
I'm super cold, it's 8ºC right now and I'm thinking that my Carnaval will suck because the rain doesn't stop.

Anyway...
Here's list of the so far Addictions I have planned for the Addictions serie (in random order:
• chocolate
• caffeine
• smoke
• drink
• beauty
• internet
• love
• makeup
• food

Any other ideas you'd like to see in the Serie? Drop me a comment or note. I'll apreciate your ideas.

So far... Candy addiction went well an I'm pleased with the results.

Good night.
♥

Projects 2010

2010-02-05T18:22:00.006Z

So many things I want to do.. and so little time to do them all..

Yet to start:
• Writting art & biographic book "Dark side of a blue moon"
• Upcoming collaborations with other fellow artists
• Digital art series: 4 seasons; 4 elements
• Creation of 2 new digital art tutorials for my Online Store
• Creation of 2 new tutorials for my free tutorial account
• Creation of 2 new background packs for my Online Store
• Creation of 3 makeup tutorials for my Online Store
• Creation of 1 new packs of model stock for my free stock photo

Already started:
• Photography series: Addictions
• Digital art series: vampires, forgotten goddesses
• 2 new pack of textures for my Online Store
• 1 new stock pack for my free stock account
• Creation of 1 new tutorial for my online store

Finished:
• 2 new stock packs for my free stock account
• Creation of 1 new pack of model stock for my free stock account
• Creation of 1 new tutorial for my free tutorial account

♥

Poetry

2010-02-05T17:50:00.004Z

I wish I could translate this in an honourable way to th Poet.. but I cannot...

"Na alcova, sobre o leito, inerme, exausta exangue,
Celeste estrebuchava em um lençol de sangue.
Ele, a um canto, assim, com'os lunáticos,
tinha uns olhos de sombra, esfíngicos, erráticos."

Gomes Leal in Anti-Cristo

Photo from 2007, taken by my friend and ex-deviant Sara.

New Beginnings

2010-02-04T14:22:00.004Z

It was about time to do a make-over in this Blog.
It has been so abandoned, so neglected.
From now on I'll make some constant updates about pertinent (and impertinent) things. I want to share a little bit about myself, about my inner worlds.

Innicialy this Blog was created with the purpose of adding updates about my Court situation. As you might guess, I still have no relevant information to share. I'm coming to a point of desperation. Public justice is the perfect exmaple of How Things Shouldn't Be Done. They're lazy, they're burocrats, they stall for every possible reasons and, I'm reaching my sanity limits.

About other things...
Finally I managed to get some time for myself. Commissions calmed down for a while and I'm looking forward to start working on my art again. I already have a fresh idea boiling in my head so, I hope that soon I can share a WIP of my new creation here in my Blog.
I'm also starting a new series in portrait photography. I'll share more information about it when the time is come. I use natural light for my photo-sessions and, lucky me: rainy days came back to torment me.

Talk to you soon.
♥

Are they for real?

2009-09-01T13:50:00.002+01:00

Hello everybody, how have you all been doing?

I'm finally home and I'm slowly updating on everything. I've been neglecting my Blog but I promise I'll try to fix that soon.
I recently found out that KittyD is going through the same situation as me.
One of her images has been stolen by the same Publisher and Design company who stole my image, and it's now on a book cover as well. Just like in my case, the book with her image is already being sold and she has no credit, no compensation, no nothing.

We already talked to both our lawyers and we're discussing the best action to take from now on.

That Publisher already stole 2 people (that we are aware of) and something has to be done in order to prevent future situations like these.

The final chapter of this story is near.

Stay tuned for more info as soon as possible.

All the best people.

♥

Exposition in Porto

2009-07-18T19:10:00.003+01:00

I should have been updating this so long ago but, my mind is always a living tornado and I forgot to share sooner this important event of my life.

In the past June 21th I was invited to have my work in an art exposition at Atelier Caffe Bar in Porto.

This exposition was hosted by Abismo Humano oraganization and was part of the Marcha do Orgulho LGTB event.

The exposition had the participation of several Portuguese artists and it had live performaces of some Portuguese poets and live piano music by Alberto Augusto Miranda.

It was an aamazing night and I'm very proud of myself for being part of it.

Off to continue my weekend away from the computer.
Wishes of a great weekend!
♥

Part of an update

2009-07-13T15:18:00.002+01:00

So....

I moved on and I searched for a new lawyer. Thankfully I found a new lawyer not as expensive as the previous one and now she's officially taking care of my case.

She's revising the whole process and making sure that nothing is missing.

Some more things are being done already and, as soon as I get her permission, I'll share all the info with you.

Wishes of a pleasant week!

Confessions

2009-06-14T23:32:00.004+01:00

One of those days...

This whole story really shook me up. It shook me up even more when I shared it with everyone on the internet. I never realized that this would bother me so much; before I think I was numb, in a strange dormence, thinking that this could easily be solved but, now, I don't know...

All small things throw me down so easily now; every tiny things like, my boyfriend saying "You forgot to turn on the washing machine" make me feel so useless. How could I guess that one lowsy book and one lowsy publisher could ever kill my sanity like this?

In days like this I just feel like I wanna give up everything; delete all my galleries, delete all the trails I left and just dissapear... I feel like I want to give up on everything.

I look around and everything seems so hollow, everyone, every words, seem so shallow; as if mankind itself lost the purpose of meaning.

In days like this, everything is pointless....

This beautiful photography (which is the perfect example of) belongs to rockthenations and it can be found HERE .
♥

Thieves and disbeliefs

2009-06-12T23:11:00.002+01:00

A couple of months ago LadyAmdis sent me a note asking if I had licensed one of my images because she saw it on a book cover and, if it was the case, she wanted to congratulate me. I was surprised because I didn't licensed any of my images for a book cover. So I went to a bookstore and there it was: a book from a portuguese author with one of my images on the cover. I wasn't even being credit or anything.

So I went and talked to a lawyer and asked what I could do. He build a huge file with my case; I had to testemony, I had to present all the proofs that the image was mine and then, he sent the case file to that book Publisher and to the supposed Design Company being credited for the image.

In the last day of the legal limit for a reply, their lawyer replied saying that they were not going to credit me or giving me ANY royalties because they found the image on a "free images" website. Their lawyer also said they won't do any agreement and, if necessary, they'll go to Court. In reality, they're only stalling trying to see if my money runs out and I can no longer keep the process going on (big fish vs. little fish situation).

They know that, if I go to court, I'll win the case because the image IS mine but, the truth is that I won't be able to keep on affording my lawyer in case this situation goes to Court. For now, while he's trying to get an agreement with the Publisher, I'm only paying smaller costs but, going to Court, the story is very different. The worst part is that, if the case is transfered to the Public Ministery, it will take forever and, in the end maybe it will lead to nowhere.

For now my lawyer is still trying to make an agreement and avoid going to Court... because it's way too much expensive for me... but the fact is that, I believe this will end in a Court room no matter what.

That's why I created an online store to sell resources; I'm trying to get some more money to keep affording my lawyer for a little longer and hope that things can get solved.
I don't know what the future holds but I'll be more than frustrated if the Publisher gets away with this.... yes, I'm kinda desperate already. No wonder lawyers are gently called "devil's advocate; they can come up with 1001 things to get away with things for their clients, even if they're wrong.
If you find anything you want to purchase in my Lune's Secret Store, feel free to do so and, you'll be helping me a lot already. I'll try to keep you posted with short uptades about how things are going... despite I believe that "slow" is the correct answer for now.

For now don't ask me the book name or the Publisher's name. I don't want any kind of harrassment or anything.
Also, don't send me donations. I don't feel good about taking anyone's money; I feel uncomfortable. That's why I created the store... you give me money but at the same time, you're getting things you need and want, in return.

♥

Hello!

2009-06-12T18:47:00.005+01:00

Hello!

I decided to create this Blog because I want to share somethings with you and I don't want to "flood" my deviantART Journal anymore.

My first idea was to create this blog to keep everyone uptadet with the Book Cover situation but, I'm going to use this Blog to share a couple other things I may find interesting in the future (I don't even know what but, we'll see).

In case your interested to know more about the stolen image for the book cover, etc, you're free to follow this Blog.

I apreciate everyone's attention and support.

♥